The 3 Ways to Beat Frustration

Adam Stansbury
4 min readNov 29, 2023


I’ve been hit with another wave of intense frustration the last couple of weeks, life is moving on but just not as quickly and smoothly as my human self wants, enter frustration.

This year has been one of the weirdest years of my life, I’ve never had one like it, in fact I’m not sure I’ve had two similar years ever, have any of us? Sorry I digress…

Refiguring your life out and going in a new direction seems to take some time, well it has for me, most of this year and it will make me think twice before ever attempting to do the same thing again, although I realise that we don’t always have that choice and I’ve done this several times now, you’d think I’d be good at it, but it changes each time.

When it’s time to change, it’s time to change, you don’t have a choice in the matter, your soul wants you to move along to the next chapter with a gently persuasive push or a sudden shove depending on how well you’ve been paying attention to the signs in your life.

For a huge part of this year, I’ve felt stuck, not knowing where to go next, and then gradually things started to flow once again, I received some help, inspiration and divine wisdom and I got back on what seemed like a good path, things started flowing again.

I’ve started a 3-year counselling and psychotherapy course, with the focus on hypnotherapy in year 1, it feels great to be learning new skills again with a long-term plan in place.

I’ve started teaching local weekly Animal Flow classes, it’s been great to start teaching again, connecting with others, and crawling around on the floor like a big kid and I have begun offering local Reiki treatments, which are proving slow to get going.

So, all in all I’ve moved forward in a great way since the start of the year, but my new path has started to veer off into a sticky muddy frustration puddle once again.

I’m still living at home, claiming benefits, and struggling to make ends meet, life just isn’t moving forward fast enough for my human side, I dream about living in my own place again, being able to afford going on dates and socialising, I’m getting bored of the struggle, but this is where life has cracked me open and the wisdom has shown itself to me once again.

Three BIG Life Lessons

1. Be Present — I’ve once again realised (because this seems to be a continuous lesson on repeat for me this year) my frustrations are forms of suffering created by myself through a lack of acceptance of the present moment. Bringing awareness to this once again is such a game changer. If I feel frustrated it’s a signpost pointing me to my lack of present moment awareness and that I’m slipping off into future projections of how I would like my life to look and feel, which creates my suffering because it is not looking that way right now. Just be here now Adam, keep it simple.

2. Be Useful to Others — I can’t get enough of Jordan Peterson at the moment, watching his interviews, podcasts and listening to audio books, his wisdom for life wrapped up in experience and clinical psychology is giving me just what I need right now. In one of the podcasts, he said the quote below that slapped me around the face and woke me up!

“There’s almost zero difference between being miserable and thinking about yourself.”

I realise that I’ve been thinking about myself and my life a lot recently, sucked into the dramas of my little life, obsessing with what is going or not going right in it. Then my stepdad got a big delivery of firewood and I spend the next couple of days in nature stacking logs and being of service.

Then both my Mum and Stepdad got covid and I find myself cooking meals for them and generally doing a bit more around the house for them, and I realise why I am here living at home right now, I’m supporting them, it’s not about me. It feels good being useful to others and thinking less about myself.

3. Be Aware of Suffering — Bringing awareness to the suffering of others around the world, specifically in Israel, Palestine, Russia, and Ukraine. Whoever you believe to be the bad actors in these plays, there are innocent people who have been caught up on all sides and had their lives and families destroyed. I’m sure you feel the same it’s heart breaking to watch. All my current struggles pale into insignificance.

If nothing else then I shall let the suffering of others bring huge amounts of gratitude into my life, for my life situation and thank the grace of God that right now I am not suffering the way some souls are and I am able to love and help my friends, family, and community.

So, in summary, be present, be useful to others and be aware of suffering and I guess the underlying thread through all three is Gratitude, find it, feel it, and recognise it in as many moments as you can each and every day.

Yours Gratefully




Adam Stansbury

Helping to shine a light on your path, so that you may see the way more clearly.