How to identify your Allies

Adam Stansbury
3 min readAug 3, 2022

Every relationship in our life provides us with a great opportunity to know ourselves better, no matter how deep or transient the relationship is, they are all showing you something about yourself.⁠

Identifying your allies is about honestly reflecting on who in your life continuously shows up for you, through thick and thin, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Sometimes we may not show enough discernment with who we let into our lives, which can cause us much discomfort further down the line. This post may help you to focus on what matters most and where to look for the signs that life is leaving for you.

Who do you prioritise time in your life for?⁠

Unfortunately there are only so many hours in every day for us to live our lives and water our relationships, so we naturally prioritise or at least we should prioritise our finite time and energy on those relationships we value the most and automatically make time for.

Who prioritises time in their life for you?

And the reverse is true, a great measure of working out who in your life you should prioritise is by looking at the people who prioritise you, they value you, your time, attention, love you fully and freely without an agenda.

How do they make you feel?

Each person we come into contact has an energy field, and we are all aware of how good we feel in some people’s presence and how on edge or uncomfortable we feel in others. This is invaluable information our senses are giving us so that we can better understand who we prefer to have in our lives.

When I am around people who bring out the inner child in me, it’s a good sign that I am fully relaxed and feel safe in their presence.

Do they inspire you?

I know I am surrounded by inspirational friends with incredible talents, who live beautiful lives and inspire me to be a better human being.

Are they there for you?⁠

⁠It’s easy to amass ‘friends’ through partying and fun social activities but what about when life deals you a shitty hand and you’re on your ass. Whoever stays by your side during those moments and picks you off the floor, are the ones worth keeping.

It’s ok to want to spend more time with some people and less with others, no matter how grand or small the depth of relationship is, we are all perfectly placed in each other’s lives to give us a deeper understanding of who we are and who we choose to be.⁠

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My new book The Journey to the centre of your Soul will take you on a journey through these layers of relating in your life, so that you can understand yourself fully.⁠

Click here to buy your copy on Amazon in paperback and kindle.⁠



Adam Stansbury

Helping to shine a light on your path, so that you may see the way more clearly.