No, I didn’t just pick the three most triggering topics I could think of and put them in a clickbait title!
They have all been interlinked experiences for me recently, increasing my Energy and Vitality in a big way. Let me explain.
Having started the year off going through the death of an old version of myself in a big way, I decided to have a month off stimulants in all shapes and forms such as caffeinated coffee, nicotine and social media. I would also abstain from ejaculating for a whole month, maybe more. I felt like I needed to claim back my power and creative life force again, plugging any holes that would leak my vital life force (excuse the pun.)
I’d fallen into a bad habit with nicotine and tobacco again, which has been in and out of my life since I was a teenager. It had been recently triggered by an emotional few months after my relationship breakup in 2021, so that had to go. I know I have an addiction problem with it, and I’ve finally admitted it to myself, which is a good start.
Smoking was also a trigger for looking at pornography. They both seemed to go hand in hand and always when I have been feeling emotionally low and in need of distraction and attention.
I decided to also take a month off posting on social media. I’d been locked out of my old Instagram account. With no way back, I decided to let it go completely, which meant that I had nothing I wanted to post or felt inspired to. It also meant less stimulation from social media to send me into loops of comparison and what I should be doing with my life.
Essentially, I’d decided that If there was no clear path for me, I would not force it and sit tight, spending more time on my own in January, tools down as much as possible, getting to know myself again without the need for external validation or stimulation.
Then one week into the year, I got Covid, which turned out to be a gift once I was out the other side. I got pretty lucky, as I’ve had flu worse in my life, but it put me on my back for a week. Unable to work, earn money or think about anything beyond watching the next Netflix series and drinking so many cups of tea, I almost became sick of it. Being an English tea-loving man could have spelt the end of life as I know it.
Covid forced me to rest, lie down, be still, and be with myself, it took me deep into my emotions and I spent many days crying about my life, love, and its meaning. At one point, I leant on the fence outside my house overlooking the farm in floods of tears, thinking about how pointless all this pain was, when a sheep walked up to me about 4 feet away and just stood there quietly looking into my eyes. We connected silently for several minutes. She was letting me know that it was all alright. It was a beautiful, profound moment with another conscious being that snapped me out of it and into a chuckle.
Covid also made the thought of smoking tobacco and consuming caffeine repulsive to me, and it terminated my libido, making it much easier for me to avoid ejaculation.
After recovering, I felt supercharged, like that period had cleared me out and reset my less than desirable habits. It is becoming more widely understood that viruses have helped our evolution as a species and may upgrade us from experience.
Over the month, I also started experimenting with eating meat again after seven years (that’s a whole other story I wrote about in a previous blog). Not massive amounts, but some fish, a roast chicken, and a couple of beef steaks had started refilling me with vital yang life force energy and plugging the energetic leaks I had been suffering from via my habits. My joy and energy increased tenfold once I recovered and my zest for life returned in a big way.
I felt like a spring that had been held back, having gone through months of sadness and then a final clear and reset with covid. I now felt supercharged again with life force energy and had a hunger and excitement for life that I hadn’t had for a long time.
The caffeinated coffee came back, but after a week of caffeinated, I went back to decaf as my sleep was slightly affected. Smoking and pornography have gone.
My next step is continuing to explore self-pleasure without ejaculation, rather than completely avoiding it, which is just shutting down a natural and beautiful experience. It’s not easy but it will come, or not 😉
I have started the Taoist practices of meditation morning and night, consciously moving the sexual energy from my perineum, up my spine and back down the front of the body, called the ‘microcosmic orbit’.
I want to become a multi-orgasmic man and cultivate this creative life force energy inside of me that is now circulating, so that I can step fully into my power and continue to enjoy this energized yet grounded feeling I now have. There is also a more energized wild version of myself that is now coming through since starting to eat some meat again.
I’m feeling really good about life again. I feel whole, full and vibrant.
The journey and observations continue…
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